STOp SAYING THAT!

 5 LEADERSHIP PHRASES THAT LOSE YOU TRUST

Leadership is language. Every word you use tells your team something about what you value, how you see them, and whether they can trust you.

In 2025, too many leaders are still recycling outdated phrases that may have motivated people 20 years ago. Today, that same language can come across as dismissive or tone-deaf. At best, it falls flat.

Gen Z (who now make up a rapidly growing portion of teams in athletics, education, and corporate spaces) are tech-savvy, transparent, and vocal about mental health, identity, and balance. They are quick to disengage if the leadership language doesn’t align with those values.

Here are five phrases to retire.  What you think you are saying isn’t what’s being felt.

1. “IT'S JUST TOUGH LOVE."

What you think you are saying: “I’m hard on you because I know you can handle the pressure.”

What they feel: Emotional immaturity. “Cruelty is masked as care here.”

Gen Z grew up in the era of mental health awareness and emotional intelligence. They believe you can be direct without being demeaning. To them, “tough love” often sounds like an excuse to avoid empathy.

What to do instead: Be clear about expectations and consequences. Deliver them with respect and humanity by being aware of your tone and disposition.

2. “THAT'S HOW WE'VE ALWAYS DONE IT."

What you think you are saying: “We have a system that works. Let’s not reinvent the wheel.”

What they feel: Close-mindedness. “My ideas don’t matter here.”

Gen Z thrives on innovation. When leaders default to this phrase, it signals resistance and stifles creativity.

What to say instead: “Here’s why this system exists.  Together, let’s explore if there’s a better way.

3. “FAKE IT, TIL YOU MAKE IT."

What you think you are saying:

“Confidence matters. Walk in your power until it becomes your reality.”

What they feel: Inauthenticity. Invisibility. “Hide my struggles and don’t ask for help.”

This generation values transparency and honesty. They’d rather admit what they don’t know than pretend otherwise.

What to say instead: “It’s okay not to have all the answers but I expect you to be resourceful and proactive about finding them.”

4. “GRIND IT OUT."

What you think you are saying: Work ethic is key. Greatness takes sacrifice.

What they feel: Lack of care for overall well-being. “Burnout is praised here.”

Gen Z respects hard work, but not at the expense of well-being. They’ve seen firsthand the toll that hustle culture takes on mental and physical wellness, and they’re not buying it.

A better reframe: Recognize the challenge of the moment. Talk about strategies and the support they would need to push through without burning out.

5. “LEAVE YOUR PROBLEMS AT HOME."

What you think you are saying: “Focus your energy on the task at hand.”

What they feel: Dismissiveness. “I can’t bring my whole self to this workplace.”

For Gen Z, there’s no clean line between work and life and they expect their leaders to understand that challenges outside of work can impact performance.

What to do instead: Show compassion. “I know life doesn’t pause when you walk in here. If you need support, let’s talk about what might help.”

So, I’m supposed to lower the standards?

Not at all.

Retiring these phrases isn’t about lowering standards. It’s about upgrading your language so your leadership lands.

No one is asking to be coddled. They are asking for clarity, respect, and connection. When you replace outdated sayings with language that balances accountability with empathy, you build trust. Trust is the currency of today’s leadership.

If you want your team to listen, to trust you, and to buy into your mission…it might be time to stop saying that.