Your Team Isn't Your Family, But Your Workplace Might Feel Like A Family Reunion

We've all heard it before: "We're like family here." It's the rallying cry of teams everywhere, usually delivered with the best of intentions.

Honestly, I used to say it too. It only took me two decades of coaching and two years of consulting with coaches to realize we've been getting the family metaphor all wrong.

Your team isn't your family. 

Families are bound by blood and history. There's an expectation (or hope) to love one another unconditionally. Your staff and athletes, however, are bound by contracts, scholarships, and shared goals.

Your team isn't your family, but your workplace might feel like a family reunion.

Uncle Will still brings up that thing from 1987 while Cousin Heather passive-aggressively comments on everyone's life choices. Mom and Aunt Lisa don't truly get along so it's understood a blowup may be on the way.

And somehow, you all still have to sit at the same table and make it work for a few hours.

The workplace family reunion dynamic is real and once you understand it, managing your team becomes a whole lot clearer.

The Cast of Characters:

Just like every family reunion has its predictable cast, so does your team.

The Overachiever — the one who somehow makes everyone else feel simultaneously inspired and exhausted.

The Instigator — the assistant that turns a simple equipment discussion into a philosophical debate about program direction.

The Peacekeeper — the smooth talker who can literally "keep the peace" while quietly burning out.

The Veteran — the boisterous coworker who has "seen it all before" and isn't shy about reminding everyone of how things used to be done.

Here's the thing...

While family reunions end, your workplace family reunion dynamics play out all day, every day.

Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z are showing up with different assumptions about work ethic, communication, and what success should look like. It's not right or wrong, but it is different.

Why the Family Metaphor Must Fall Apart

The traditional "we're family" approach gets us into trouble. When we tell athletes and staff they are family, we're setting up a framework where criticism feels like rejection, accountability feels like betrayal, and professional boundaries feel like emotional abuse.

Managing Your Family Reunion: Three Essential Strategies

1.     Name the Ground Rules Upfront

Just like a good family reunion has a schedule and ground rules, your program needs clear expectations. Define roles, responsibilities, and boundaries from day one.

2.      Address the Elephants

In family reunions, unresolved issues fester until they explode! Small conflicts become season-ending drama, if ignored. Create regular check-ins and address tensions before they become toxic.

3.     Celebrate True Realities 

Instead of forcing fake family feelings, celebrate what genuinely connects your group: shared victories, growth milestones, and collective achievements. Focus on building team culture around authentic connections rather than manufactured familial obligations.

Unlike actual family reunions, you can't just survive a few hours and go home. You're building something together, season after season. The goal isn't forced family feelings. It's creating a culture where people know what's expected, feel safe to contribute authentically, and can celebrate the victories earned together.

This foundation is way more sustainable than any family metaphor.

Let's start calling it what it really is: Team.